“I Changed My Mind on Christian LGBTQ Marriage. Here’s Why and How!”

“I Changed My Mind on Christian LGBTQ Marriage. Here’s Why and How!”

Part 1: By Gary L. Clendenon, September-November, 2025

Over the last year I have been slowly digesting a book entitled The Bible and LGBTQ Adventists by Alicia Johnston (c. 2022). Alicia is a former Seventh-day Adventist (SDA) Pastor and Counselor who lost her job when she came out as bi-sexual. Being a Pastor, you can imagine that she was and still is a very strong Bible-believing person, who wanted to really understand what the Bible taught on this and how to make sense of the tension between what she had been taught—or mistaught—growing up SDA and what she and others were experiencing in real life. This book is the story of her journey through this topic which led to her finally coming out as “bi” and losing her job, though fully believing that, according to her understanding of the Bible, she was remaining faithful to GOD and the Holy Bible.

As you’ve guessed by now, it was reading this book that led to my title. Before I started the book, I was against Christian LGBTQ marriage (I made that distinction because, as one who leans Libertarian, I believed that non-Christians should be able to do whatever they choose regarding marriage, so I was mostly fine with LGBTQ marriage for them). After finishing the book, I am for LGBTQ marriage for anyone and everyone—Christians and Seventh-day Adventists included. Here’s how and why I changed my mind. Reader, please know that I am not out to change your mind—that’s between you and GOD—but I do want to share what I’ve learned.

Here’s my chronological attempt at “The short Version” of a 300+ page book:

1. LGBTQ Seventh-day Adventists exist. The approximate current rate of those who identify as LGBTQ in the U.S. is almost 10%. Because you tithe, you know that’s about 1 out of every 10 people—10 out of every 100 people. If that percent is true in the SDA Church, that’s 100,000 out of the 1 million plus SDAs in the United States. Now, I’m not here to argue numbers at all, but to merely make sure you know and understand that this is real. You may say, “But I don’t know anyone that is LGBTQ.” You may or you may not, or you may not know that you do know someone. See #2.

2. Most LGBTQ SDAs are hiding in secret shame because of what they have been taught: If they are true to themselves, they are terrible sinners, and unacceptable to GOD. This might be why you don’t know anyone. There are SDA LGBTQs who haven’t come out yet, and are living in constant fear that they will be discovered. I was shocked that when my child came out to me, they actually had a fear that I might kick them out of my home. That they had struggled with this fear broke my heart. I would never.

3. For many to most LGBTQ, they didn’t choose to be LGBTQ. Like, “Oh, here’s a fad—everyone is doing it and it looks fun, so I’ll try it.” Many LGBTQ have fought against their thoughts and desires for years. Praying hard, disciplining themselves harshly, fighting so hard to overcome this supposedly sinful nature. They tried counseling, they’ve tried everything—even some going through conversion therapy. But, for most, nothing worked, and they finally came to realize that this is just who they really are. (Cue: “This is Me” theme song from the Showman.)

This argument for me, was the strongest, non-biblical argument in helping me to change my mind. Seeing all the societal, not to mention religious challenges LGBTQ people face: fears of prejudice, discrimination, harassment, or the violence of physical abuse and/or death—especially for those who are transgender, it became very clear to me that no person would intentionally choose to go through all that trouble if what they were experiencing were not real! (1)

But, what about the Bible and what it says? Let’s take a look at this through the knowledge and experience of Bible scholar Alicia:

4. The Garden of Eden Marriage: Many compare the sanctity or holiness of Marriage to the sanctity and holiness of the 7th-day Sabbath because both started in the beginning, but, Alicia points out that there is a crucial difference between the two: “the Bible doesn’t say this. Marriage in Genesis is not called holy or sanctified…the word ‘holy’ is reserved for the Sabbath.” Alicia says, “What was established in creation remains. All that was good then is still good today.” Marriage was good, but not “holy”. Another difference: the Sabbath was/is for everyone; marriage was/is only for some. “The call to follow the path of Adam and Eve is not for everyone.” (2) “We should never abandon heterosexual pairing. We find it in Eden. But it’s not a universal command.” (3)

5. Is Same-sex Marriage a threat? Alicia say, “Gay and bisexual people do not want to destroy marriage. We want access to marriage. We see its value and want to be a part of it. That’s why we fought so hard.” (4) It’s an ironic argument that in a society that is moving away from the value of marriage, we would deny it to those who do find value in it! Supporting LGBTQ marriages “would not harm heterosexual marriage; it would strengthen marriage for everyone.” (5)

6. Can Gender be “Changed”? Transgender people believe that gender is a spectrum and is fluid. The SDA Church has produced two statements (2014/2017) regarding the topic of being transgender. Based on the gender binary of Genesis 1:27 “male and female He created them”, Alicia says, “the Adventist Church does not support transgender identity”. Their solution is, as quoted from these statements, “transgender people may suffer silently, living a celibate life or be married to a spouse of the opposite sex.” (6)

Alicia points out that besides “male and female” there are other binaries stated in Genesis chapter 1 (and many throughout the whole Bible), and that this use of binaries is a literary technique very common to the Bible. She states: “this is the way the Hebrew language works. [The] Hebrew language communicates the whole by stating the two most exemplar examples or the two ends of the spectrum. It’s called a ‘merism’.” (7)

Alicia goes on to say:

“Many use Genesis 1:27 to indicate that ‘male and female’ is all God created. This interpretation ignores the possibility of a Hebrew merism and is inconsistent with the rest of the creation narrative. The creation categories simply are not intended to explain all that can be, all that should be, or all that can morally and ethically be considered good.

The text is open, not closed. The mentioning of ‘male and female’ does not create a mandate or limit future possibilities. Like the rest of the creation narrative, it only gives the high points.” (8)

To be honest, though this concept was a stretch for me to accept completely without further points, it did open my mind enough to make sense of what Alicia shared next. When you add “The Fall” of Genesis 3 to this story, you can view it in this—more comfortable for me—way:

“God created all people to be male or female, but things got dicey after the fall, and we have to adapt as best we can. Our adaptations aren’t moral or immoral, just an attempt to function well and live faithfully given the bodies we have.” In this model, “being transgender is a matter of adaptation, not morality.” (9)

Alicia talks about the available transgender science and case studies, then concludes: “...the evidence favors an unchangeable neurological and biological reality. … In other words, being transgender is not a choice. Our brains have an innate sense of gender. ...a biologically coded innate sense of identity. There has long been evidence for this.” (10)

On transitioning, Alicia says, “...in decades of being an Adventist, I’ve never met a single transgender person who reached...peace without transitioning. Perhaps that’s not the best way to determine right from wrong, but one has to wonder why the solution the church proposes doesn’t seem to work for anyone.” (11) A strong point, I’d say.

She continues later,

“There is no biblical advice about gender identity. If the Bible was clear, it would be easier for the church to be clear. … Like many topics, gender, sex, and sexuality are not as simple as what we learned in kindergarten. … Perhaps this reality alone is enough to merit liberty of conscience for the transgender and intersex people who embody these questions. Maybe we should allow them to take the lead when it comes to questions about their bodies. … We should never forget that compassion is biblical.” (12)

Though “there is no biblical advice about gender identity,” there are biblical principles we can look to in regards to how the Bible relates to eunuchs (men from whom their ability to make children had been removed). Alicia tells us that “Eunuchs were important people in the Ancient Near East and were often outside of typical gender norms.” (13) This is shown by the fact that “the Hebrew word for ‘eunuch’ is the same as the word ‘trusted advisor’.” (14) Notice, what she shows from Isaiah 56:3-5 about eunuchs:

“Thus says the Lord: ‘To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath, and choose what pleases me, and hold fast to my covenant, even to them I will give in my house and within my walls a place and better name than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off’.” (15)

A better name than sons or daughters? An everlasting name that will not be cut off? What a powerful acceptance and blessing for a eunuch to receive! What an excellent modeling of how we can treat those who would otherwise be consider a part of the fringes of society!

7. Jesus on Marriage and Divorce: Defendants of marriage being only “male and female” partners, quote Jesus in Matthew 19:4-6 alluding to Genesis chapters 1&2; however when Jesus refers to Adam and Eve’s “marriage”, he refers to it in the context of a question about divorce, not marriage. Jesus’ point was that Adam and Eve were created equals, and should be treated as equals. In His answer, Jesus was defending women, who in the Jewish society were not being treated as equals—especially in the context of this topic of divorce. They were being treated by men as property, not as equals. By referring to Adam and Eve, Jesus was attempting to restore more equality to the divorce laws. Alicia says, “...less clear is whether Jesus’ interpretation applies to the gender requirement for marriage at all.” (16) She goes on to point out that “no definition of marriage is given in Scripture with the words ‘Marriage is’….” (17)

When Jesus came to Earth, he became our example, not Adam. Jesus was celibate and advised celibacy as the ideal (Matthew 19:12). What happened to Adam and Eve as the ideal? Alicia points out that:

“God blesses the life-choice of celibacy even when it doesn’t align with the original creation. That should give us pause. … Jesus didn’t see the original creation as the moral imperative in all situations. … Jesus’ main moral concern was ‘the hardness of your hearts.’  Adam and Eve are an example of two people who did not have hard hearts. That’s why they represent the better choice.” (18)

I really appreciate what Alicia said next:

“When discussing the question of same-sex marriage, this should challenge all of us. When we engage in this discussion, are we doing so with hearts that are hard toward one another? … Do we have soft hearts for those who oppose us? … The challenge for the church is never to lose sight of LGBTQ lives. We are not a problem to be solved. … The church sometimes forgets that this is a tender conversation about people’s lives….” (19)

Speaking of divorce, Alicia rightly points out that “today’s church has taken a much softer stance on divorce than Jesus did.” (20) And that this didn’t happen due to new Biblical insight into the Bible’s teachings: “No new theological understandings or new truths were revealed…. It happened because Christians learned to better embody the character of God in the reality of divorce.”  I would also point out this “softer stance”, unfortunately, has been needed due to the hardness of our hearts. But, praise GOD, He meets us where we are at!

Notice what Alicia, I think rightly, points out next:

“If we’ve allowed such experiences to change the way we treat divorced people because of our love for them, shouldn’t we be open to new understandings of these texts for others as well? … How can we allow for grace and understanding for the divorced people Jesus spoke to plainly and directly, but not for gay and bisexual people who Jesus wasn’t [directly] addressing? How can we relax strict literalism for those who were the subject of the text but hold firm literalism for those who were not the subject of the text?” (21)

She then gives her answer to these questions: “One of the beautiful aspects of Adventist theology is the careful attention to the context of these texts. Adventists are good at paying attention to the passage, not just the verse. That’s the same principle we should apply here.” (22)

THE END OF “PART ONE”

But, you ask, “What about those other Bible texts that are specifically against homosexuality?”  That’s a great question, and there are answers, so we will be looking at those in “Part 2” and “Part 3”. So, stay tuned. There’s much more! (I’ve only covered 4 of the 13 chapters in Alicia’s book.)

FOOTNOTES:

1. Violence against transgender people is 4 times more likely than violence against non LGBTQ people (UCLA Law Study from Google search). I experienced learning this first-hand as I observed a tiny part of my youngest son’s journey of coming out and transitioning to being my daughter. Consider also the follow statistics Alicia quotes: “In K-12 school, transgender people recall being harassed (78%), physically assaulted (35%), and sexually assaulted (12%). They have twice the rate of unemployment and four times the rate of extreme poverty, with 90% experiencing workplace harassment, mistreatment, or discrimination. They are fired, denied promotions, or not hired in the first place (47%) because of being transgender. … Homeless-ness is experienced by a staggering 19% of transgender people. Significant family rejection is shared by 57% of transgender people. 41% of transgender people attempt suicide, compared with 1.5% of the typical population.” (Alicia Johnston, The Bible & LGBTQ Adventists: A Theological Conversation About Same-Sex Marriage, Gender, and Identity, (c) 2022, p. 77-78.)

2. Alicia Johnston, The Bible & LGBTQ Adventists: A Theological Conversation About Same-Sex Marriage, Gender, and Identity, (c) 2022, p. 41, emphasis mine.

3. Ibid, p. 46.

4. Ibid, p. 47.

5. Ibid, p. 48.

6. Ibid, p. 60.

7. Ibid, p. 62.

8. Ibid, p. 63.

9. Ibid, p. 65.

10. Ibid, p. 66. Here’s a couple more similar quotes from Alicia: “Gender is real. … It’s not about personal choice or preference. … Gender is in the brain, stamped on the psychological makeup of every person. When people say they are transgender, they are saying there is more to gender than genitalia.” Ibid, p. 68. “It isn’t about feelings versus physiology. The organ between our ears is still an organ. How can we justify privileging one part of the anatomy (the genitals) over another part (the brain)?” Ibid, p. 73.

11. Ibid, p. 74.

12. Ibid, p. 77, 78.

13, 14, & 15. Ibid, p. 79.

16. Ibid, p. 92.

17. Ibid, p. 93.

18. Ibid, p. 95.

19. Ibid, p. 96.

20. Ibid, p. 99.

21. Ibid, p. 101.