HOW TO “Love GOD and Love our Neighbor!” Practically—in Real Life!

HOW TO “Love GOD and Love our Neighbor!”

Practically—in Real Life!

By Gary L. Clendenon, (c) 2026

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free, only to discover the prisoner was you.”

~ Corrie Ten Boom

Jesus—GOD in human flesh—reminded humans that the highest meaning of life is to “Love GOD and love your neighbor!” I say “reminded” because He was not teaching anything new, but simply quoting GOD’s original commands from the Bible. This idea seemed “New” to the people of Jesus’ day because its emphasis had gone almost to a state of complete ignorance in those days. (1) Today, as Christians, in a world full of division, darkness, hurtful humans, and outright evil, on a practical level, how do we obtain and maintain this ability?

Because we humans were created by GOD to love and be loved, this, then, is our optimal state of being. In this optimal state, we experience a state of love, harmony, and peace with GOD, the universe, nature, and all humanity around us. In the world, there are different names for this desired state, such as: “Bliss”, “Flow”, “Serenity”, or “Practicing the Presence” (of GOD). (2)

In ancient Hawaiian teachings, this optimal state is called “Pono” and the process of obtaining and maintaining this state “Ho’oponopono”. (3) Because I have found this process to be consistent with the Principles of the Kingdom of GOD (which can also be found in other ancient traditions) and very highly-practical to this topic of obtaining and maintaining a continual state of GOD-ly Love, I am excited to share one way of how to practice this process with you!

Being Pono starts with our connection to GOD. (4) This is the first step: We achieve being Pono with others by first being “Pono” with GOD. We become Pono with GOD by consciously choosing to make a literal connection with GOD. Christians, in the simplest terms, call this “Inviting Jesus into your heart” and we make this connection by talking to GOD either out loud, or silently in our minds (As you probably know, Christians call this talk like this “Prayer”). Jesus used the analogy of Himself knocking at the door of our lives, and we, opening the doors, and letting Him in. (5)

Because this literal connection with GOD is not visible, it can be visualized or imagined as the hose extending from a deep sea diver’s helmet up to the ship on the surface of the water above. Once connected, this hose provides life-sustaining air, water, and the ability to communicate with the ship above—literally, a “Lifeline”. It’s no surprise, then, that this hose is called an “umbilical hose” because like the umbilical cord from a mother to her baby, this hose provides what is needed to sustain life in underwater conditions. Similarly, as long as our connection to the Source of Love and all that is good is maintained, we humans are able to experience life at its optimal level of functioning.

As part of making this connection with GOD, it is vital to make and keep it strong by clearing out anything that might be hindering the connection. So, as a part of our conversation with GOD, we think of anything that might be blocking or clogging a clear connection with GOD and then we ask GOD to remove those things through what Christians call the process of Forgiveness.

Examples of connection cloggers are things like what the Bible calls “idols”—anything we have connected to instead of, or as a substitute for, our connection with GOD; “sins”—any ways that we have chosen selfishness over Love (the principles of these sins are outlined in the 10 Commandments and their extrapolations throughout the rest of the Bible); and “Resentments”—any bad feelings we are holding on to that will definitely clog up a clear connection. (This is why the Bible says “When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down.”  (Ephesians 4:26 AMPC)

For all of these things, we say to GOD, in the language of Ho’oponopono: “Please forgive me” and “I forgive you” as we claim the very real forgiveness of GOD separating us from these idols, sins, and washing us clean from our heads to our toes and from our heels to our noses. (6)

Then, with all obstructions removed, the connection can now be completely clear. All is well between us and GOD. We now receive all of the Love that we can as it is downloaded into every part of our lives—even down to the cellular and subatomic levels—Christians call this “being filled with the Spirit”. Now that we are Pono with GOD, we turn to being Pono with all the humans in our lives.

Ho’oponopono teaches, and I have come to believe this teaching is correct, in the same way that we can make a literal unseen connection to GOD, we also make literal unseen connections to people—real or imagined. (7) These connections literally stick with us—because theses connections are metaphorically sticky—like glue or tar and stay stuck until we remove them. So, as we go through our day interacting with ourselves, others, and all the media we are bombarded with, we are, in essence, collecting connections!

So, you can imagine that by the end of the day our bodies are covered from head to toe with connections of all kinds! Some of those connections may be pleasant or pleasurable, but the vast majority of them, no doubt, are not! And, if these connections are not cleared, we start out the next day with them still attached, and then go out and collect more! Every day, more and more and more! So, overwhelming! It’s a wonder we can even walk around and have the strength to hold our own bodies up!

This is where the Ho’oponopono process shines. It allows us to separate ourselves from all these connections and start our day fresh and clean—not with our bodies littered with stuck connections! Each of these connections carries an emotional and/or mental weight to our psyche and our overall well-being, so it is obviously in our best interest to remove them all each day and start fresh! Dr. Matt James, who taught me this process says that he practices it each night before going to bed—which makes sense. Detaching oneself from all the stickiness of the day is a literal soul cleansing, and a great way to sleep soundly and start the next day fresh!

What I am going to share with you now is a very shortened version of the Ho’oponopono forgiveness process. For a better understanding of the whole process, I highly recommend you check out the links I put in Footnote 3. If you just want to understand how to do the process—with less of the “whys and wherefores”, then I recommend the 7-minute video.

Since we cannot give what we don’t have, the Ho’oponopono forgiveness process first asks us to become “Pono” with GOD—as described above. Then with a heart full of the Unconditional Love of GOD, we are asked to visualize these invisible connections or cords that are stuck all over our bodies.

We then invite whatever these cords are connected to—as they extend out from our bodies—to appear onto an imaginary area in front of us—like a field or stage. (8) As each connection arrives in front of us, we welcome them and thank them for whatever purpose they had in our lives (even if we don’t know what that purpose is, we accept the premise that “everything happens for a reason”). We extend to them and surround each connection with the Unconditional Love of GOD.

After that, we say to each connection: “I forgive you. Please forgive me.”  In this process, the connection we are dealing with is at our mercy—this is our process—so they will respond favorably to our request and reciprocate fully—even if they wouldn’t likely do that in real life. After that, we conclude in whatever way is appropriate for that relationship: a hug, high 5, a nod, a bow, tip of the hat, etc. as we prepare to go our separate ways. We are now “Pono”.

The next very important step involves the completion of the separation process. As a Christian, this is my personal adaptation of Dr. Matt’s way of doing this process. I gather all these connections into my arms as they extend now from my heart and torso out into the designated area in front of me that includes my many connectors. I ask the Holy Spirit of Almighty GOD to bring out the super-giant, super-sharp “Sword of the Spirit” (9) and swiftly cut and chop through all the cords extending out from my body.

As each connection is severed, it goes back to where it came from, and I say, “I am free from it, and it is free from me.”  When I do this, I can literally feel the weight being lifted from me as the connections are severed, and I become free from all of them. Because I can actually and literally feel when this process is completed, I continue the process until I do feel it is finished. Then, I feel unburdened, lighter, and free.

A note on this process: EVERYONE is included in this cutting process—even those we love the most. All connections are severed. Cutting a cord with someone we love is not a disrespect to that person or that relationship. It is just that we, individually, must have a completely clean slate to be able to start fresh. The moment we interact with that person again, or think of them, a new fresh connection is made. In regards to connections with the Almighty GODhead, I either state out loud that those connections are not to be severed, or after the process is over, I immediately re-establish those connections.

This ends the Ho’oponopono forgiveness process. Unburdened by connections, we are free to go on with our lives again naturally establishing new connections—which we can then remove at our next Ho’oponopono session.

Dr. Matt also teaches that there is a very quick and easy version of the Ho’oponopono process for when you are in a hurry or in a public setting without time to do the whole process and you wish to make a separation from a connection you’ve made. You just imagine the connection and quickly say to yourself, or out loud, if appropriate: “I forgive you. Please forgive me.”  Then, you get out a pair of imaginary scissors and cut the connection saying something “Snip, snip”. “Voila!”  Just like that, it’s done.

When I was first introduced to the Ho’oponopono process, it was led by Dr. Matt himself in a seminar I was attending. (10) I was deeply moved emotionally and really experienced a great weight being lifted off my life as I participated in this process for the first time. Since then, I have continued to use this process, as I mentioned, adapting it to my specific beliefs as a Christian. I believe strongly in this process, and so naturally, I want you to have this same experience, and that is why I am gladly sharing it with you now. I wish you “Pono”.

FOOTNOTES:

1. Jesus, in Matthew 22:37-40, was quoting from Deuteronomy 6:5/Leviticus 19:18 (See also my essay “The Guru on Top of the Mountain” https://notesfromthegc.blogspot.com/2021/11/the-guru-on-top-of-mountain.html)

2. The idea of “Following your Bliss” was made popular by Bill Moyer’s 1988 documentary “Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth”. The concept of “Flow” was made popular in 1990 by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. “Serenity” is one of the major goals of 12-step Recovery, as introduced by Alcoholics Anonymous’ The Big Book (see also “The Serenity Prayer”). The Christian idea of “Practicing the Presence of God” was made popular by 17th-century monk Brother Lawrence who wrote The Practice of the Presence of God.

3. I am indebted to Matt James for introducing me to the process of Ho’oponopono. For more detailed information from Matt, check out the follow links as interested. For a short article on Forgiveness and Ho’oponopono go here: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/learning-forgiveness_b_3728468. For a 7-minute sample Ho’oponopono process video, go here: https://youtu.be/FaMcgtswmVA?si=h5vowY0S-Cm-4gbo For a half-hour explanation video, go here: https://youtu.be/n-1dE0uueE4?si=YEKrMKEIQM6TpfRm For an hour-long teaching video, go here: https://youtu.be/g96ABh0HjGw?si=UctESWu6aeqvwWd2 For Matt James’ book on Ho’oponopono, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Hooponopono-Your-Path-True-Forgiveness/dp/1944177795

4. The Hawaiian process does not specifically specify “GOD”, but allows you to use whatever terminology works with your personal belief system (“Higher Power”, “Source”, etc.). As a Believer in the God of the Bible, naturally, I will continue to use the term “GOD”.

5. Revelation 3:20. I wrote a song about this; if you’re interested, you can listen here: https://youtu.be/6JlgNztGX-o?si=YIN6B1TNZvKo726R

6. This phrase is a key part of the process. Some of you, at first thought, may be reluctant to the idea that you would need to forgive GOD for anything, but forgiveness needs to go both ways. You might be surprised to learn that you might have some things you need to forgive GOD for. (No, GOD has not sinned against you, nor can He, but we can harbor negative feelings towards GOD for our misunderstandings of His ways. This is how we release those negative feelings. We forgive GOD.)

7. In Dr. Matt’s teaching, we also makes connections to places, things, ideas, feelings, and experiences—real or imagined.

8. Again, in Dr. Matt’s teaching, we also makes connections to places, things, ideas, feelings, and experiences—real or imagined. Also, again, since this is our process, all the connections we extend an invitation to do show up and participate in this process—even if they wouldn’t likely do that in real life.

9. The “Sword of the Spirit” is found in the Biblical book Ephesians (6:17) in the section where we Christians are told to “put on the armor of God” (6:11). The sword, verse 17 states, is “the word of God”. This combines nicely with Hebrews 4:12 which says, “The word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit…. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” (NLT, emphasis mine) Thus, I decided it would be the most fitting tool for the Ho’oponopono process of separating from my connections. In case you’re wondering, I think Dr. Matt alluded to using scissors by making a “snip, snip” motion with his fingers. The tool you visualize, of course, is up to you as long as you remember it is done with full love in your heart. This is a positive experience—much like the cutting of a baby’s umbilical cord.

10. Here’s more information if you are interested in the seminar I mentioned. It’s called: “Integrative NLP Practitioner Certification Training”. Here’s the link: nlp.com